You don't say

Dear Blackie,

You know what my biggest pet-peeve is? For all intensive purposes, it is people who misuse common sayings. I mean, to some people it may be six of one and a dozen of another, but to me it is very important. Its not that I want to eat cake and bake it too, that is not it. Anymore, you cannot even wake up of a morning and not have some asshole kid saying something stupid. It makes me want to kill a bird with two stones and teach him a lesson. It is like scraping a nail accrosst a chalkboard when I hear somebody running around like a chicken with their neck off. Doesn't that just make you want to take two steps sideways and one step up?

Signed,