Guest Advisor: Assinine or Canine??

Dear Jules,

I have this really great dog. He is cute and large and a very good protector. We go for walks about twice a day and he eats me out of house and home. He has an excellent sense of hearing and smell, as most dogs do. My question is, do you think my dog is an asshole?

Signed,

Assinine or Canine??

Dear AC:

Hey, if your mutt can smell a pig ear a mile away, he is definitely an asshole. Just be glad you don't have a pet goat because then you'd have to read My Pet Goat to a bunch of gradeschoolers while the whole world falls down.

Now leave me alone.

Jules